wow, it’s been a while since my last post aint it?
well, this is my last week in south dakota and i think i need to wrap up this year with a little touch of a post in my most-of-the-time-abandoned-by-me tumblr blog.
this year has been,mmm, fun? naaah, let’s just say it’s been good. i’ve learned a lot of stuff that didnt know before, and prolly wouldnt know if i wasnt in this program. i think i changed a lot since i came here. actually it’s more like, knowing myself better. im not the person that i used to know. some of em are in a good way, but some of em arent.
(before) :
i remember the first time i came, i felt like i was trapped here. in the middle of no where. i wanted to cry when the first time i looked out the window from the plane, coz all i saw was land. no buildings, at all. and im serious. i wanna get of the plane and go back to olympia, where the language camp was. but thinking that all the people in there were already gone, it makes me wanna cry even more. at camp, my head was always full of imagination of what’s the family gonna be like, the school, the people, am i gonna popular or not, blahblah that kinda stuff in a form where its too good to be true.
i met my hostfamily who were nice, but hey, they’re not my family. wendy (hostmom) never rubbed like my mom used to do, she cant cook ikan teri sambel like my mom, she never even pay for my toothbrush. she is not my mom. john (hostdad) always joking and teasing me. my dad’s not like that. my hostsister, emma, is a sophomore and she’s not popular, which is kinda dissapointing because itll be alot easier for me if it’s the other way around. we dont really talk on the first months, maybe because we dont really have so much stuff in common. she loves books (she even wrote a book that she talks about all the time), i dont. she loves video games, i dont. we dressed differently and have different taste. we both love music, but different genre. she plays music, i sing music. sometimes she got really obnoxious and really childish, but its still tolerable. my other hostsister and hostbrother are all nice, but still, they’re not my real family. i never enjoyed family gathering because all i can think of is my family back home.
school. dude it’s sucks, a lot. i was really quiet at the beginning and when i try to start to talk to people it felt weird. i swear i cried almost everyday. i felt like a geek. no friend, no hangout after school, computer and calendar were my only babies. my social life was pretty much dead. i started to see my self not the way i wanted to. I, uhm, hate myself? for being not social enough, for being a fatgirl who doesnt play anysports at all and still fucking tried to be in the club, for being a smart ass, yeah, for being nerd. i regret coming here, i wish i could turn back time, and could go back to good ol’ sma 5.
but hey, it WAS like that. wanna know what i think NOW about my life?
kay, so earlier i said “…my head was always full of imagination of what’s the family gonna be like, the school, the people, am i gonna popular or not..”.
highschool. popularity, that’s all that matters aint it? if you hangout with cool people, than your highschool life will be awesome. all i could think of was how to be popular and how to fit in with the cool kids. that was highschool meant for me. but then i realize, how stupid and immature i was. socializing is crucial, but you dont have to force yourself to be popular. you just have to enjoy what you have, y know. me? i did regret that i spent too much time thinking about that crap that i almost couldnt enjoy half of my year here, but in the end, it’s not like i dont have any friends. i made friends with everyone : nerd, popular, (even) jerks, etcetc, just like what charles told me to do. i said i felt like a nerd (still, a lil bit lol) , but hey, what’s wrong with being a nerd? it’s never wrong to get all A’s, right?
John, he’s the most awesome hostfather (beside bapak sibarani of course). his jokes are (most of the time) funny, his face expression always makes me laugh spontaneously, he always looks funny with his dog, penny. and the most important, he is nice and supportive. i’ll missed being teased by him when i get home.wendy, she’s the most awesome hostmom (beside my real mom) i’ve ever met. she really cares for me, and when i think of it, she’s always been like that. not in my indonesian way, but in american way. she cooks awesome foods. she’s really supportive, fun, and strong. i love her. my head was too tired whinning, that’s why i couldnt be grateful on the first months. emma, she rocks! i wouldnt say that she’s the most awesome sister (well duh, who can beat betty?), but she’s really really nice to me, she’s fun to hang with, she’s really active, she never did bad stuff to me. in fact, most of the time im the one who did bad stuff to her, and i really regret it. family gathering cant be more fun. zack always tease b, i always scare andrew, justin always piss john off, emma always make wendy mad. no, that last two arenot true. but, you know what i mean. lol.
and i did learn a lot of stuff. here’s some of the stuff that i learn:
- learn not to laugh if people asking the stupidest question ever
-
it’s hard being an exchange student
- dont be affraid to talk to everyone
- americans eat salary+peanut butter which is the sickest thing ever
- americans eat pickles which is the second sickest thing ever
- american girls shave their legs
- americans never study
- americans argue alot over unimportant stuff
- american has liberal way of thinking, different from asian
- americans disgusted by people who eat with their hand (that’d be me)
- american kids love to whine. about everything. just do your stuff and shut up!
- americans looooove sports. which is why athletes are popular at school
- american foods are easy to make. they looove burgers.
- etcetc
maybe all that above are shallow observation. but well duuuh? i dont wanna tell you
everything. i paid $10000 to learn this for ONE YEAR! i wont let you learn that FOR FREE just by reading my blog. uh uh, nope. lol
huhh.. now it’s time to pack all my stuff and go. i was pretty surprised that my friends were actually sad that im gone. i was pretty surprised finding myself cried a few times at night thinking im gonna be gone soon. i love hot springs. i love my family. i love my friends. i love my teachers. i love the people. i’m gonna miss this place so much. and im gonna bring the memories with me wherever i’ll go.
i needed two days to finish this post. and i want to change what i said in the beggining of this post ” this year has been,mmm, fun? naaah, let’s just say it’s been good”. actually, this year really has been a fun year. i dont regret coming here. all that i regret is not to make the best out of it. i have new friends, new teacher, new home, new family, which form the new me.
well, now im done with highschool, with the exchange year. need to start all over again. and now college (uuu..), in san fransisco. i hope there’ll be more excitement for me next year and the next year, and the next year, and…
talk to you again soon! :D
